Last week our team and our company had a major interaction with racism that led to a loss of opportunity. We knew that this would happen eventually given the nature of our work. But we did not expect it to be because of an event about allyship. I was surprised. Ashley was not. Our whole team is heartbroken.
Yesterday morning we announced the postponement of our supper club to the ticket holders. We were informed last week that one of the partners that originally agreed to the event was not comfortable with the content and topic of our supper club “Allyship In Action: Going Beyond Performative Behavior To Create Actionable Change.”
We were given the option to change the content or change the partner. The choice was an obvious one.
This will not stop us, however. We will have this event. And it will be bigger and better because of this setback. We will not let fear hold us back. This instance of prejudice will not win. We are working with our incredible chef, Cleveland of The Lost Spoon, to rework this event for a future date. Please follow and support him as well. He has been a wonderful partner and we are so grateful for all of his hard work.
In an attempt to use our recent experience as a tool for both learning and unlearning we have decided to publish our official response to the partner that decided to back out. At this time we are choosing not to reveal the name of the partner for a few reasons: 1) We think it unlikely that the general public will ever interact with this partner because 2) they are currently in the process of some changes. 3) It was the decision of a single individual within the organization. 4) We are handling it internally in the best way we see fit. 5) We are protecting ourselves. That said we have chosen to redact some identifying information which will be identified below by [brackets]. If any of the above changes we will let you know.
We believe that speaking your truth is a fundamental part of wellness. We also believe that an individual is only as well as their community. Those two beliefs combined mean that when met with injustice we must speak out. We hope that this letter can serve as a template for you in your future interactions with those that would attempt to subvert your efforts towards social justice.
[Karen,]
To say that we are disappointed in your decision [to support us] is an understatement so drastic it borders on untruth.
As a company, we are dedicated to righting wrongs and speaking truth to power and privilege in an effort to create a more level playing field and create access for those to whom access has traditionally been denied.
The purpose of this supper club was to help those interested in true allyship learn how to be better allies. We put together programming designed to help open previously closed eyes to terminology that would help them identify inequality so they could work towards eradicating it. We had a small role-playing skit where our attendees could act out a scene where the attempt at allyship was paper-thin so they could go deeper and do more meaningful work. We had a lovely dinner planned and a gallery where we could highlight the hard work BIPOC have put into creating art, writing books, speaking their truth, and expressing themselves.
In choosing not to [be a partner in] this supper club because we are talking about racial equality you actively participate in the kind of systemic racism that got us here in the first place.
As white women of privilege, access, and financial security it is our duty to fight for those that do not have those things; it is our job to raise them up; it is our job to use our privilege and power to care for our community and the disenfranchised.
I write this letter because I think it is important for you to acknowledge the hurt and the harm you have caused. Today Ashley and I were informed that we could not have [our event] because it is about her right to have the same rights as you and I and how we can teach others to fight for those rights. Today Ashley will sit in this. Today she will think about nothing else but this. Today she is hurting. Our whole team is hurting.
We are a small company that fights for equality and today we are heartbroken. Not only have we taken a financial loss as we reschedule or cancel our event but we have taken an emotional loss.
We never hid our content. We spoke openly and plainly with you about the content of this event.
Today you have let your fear take control. You have hidden behind your privilege and it has caused grave harm.
It is important that you know this. It is important that you share the burden of this.
If you are interested in doing the work to learn more about how to avoid harm like this in the future we recommend you start with “Me and White Supremacy” by Laya F Saad. It will help you begin your journey.
We also understand that this letter will make you uncomfortable. Even angry. We ask that you sit in that and explore it before responding. We ask that you consider your impact and your influence today and how it has affected others.
If you have questions or what to have a conversation about this I am open to that.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
If you are interested in supporting us we would love for you to share our story and help us promote the next supper club when we find a new date.
Thank you.